Dale Carnegie wrote an insightful and interesting book many years
ago and it has become a standard.
http://www.westegg.com/unmaintained/carnegie/win-friends.html
This is perhaps the one and only book L. Ron Hubbard, of Scientology
infamy, did NOT plagiarize. This is evident just looking at the
topics covered . . .
Part One
Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
1) Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
2) Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3) Arouse in the other person an eager want.
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Part Two
Six ways to make people like you
1) Become genuinely interested in other people.
2) Smile.
3) Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest
and most important sound in any language.
4) Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5) Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
6) Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.
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Part Three
Win people to your way of thinking
1) The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
2) Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say,
"You're wrong."
3) If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4) Begin in a friendly way.
5) Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
6) Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7) Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
8) Try honestly to see things from the other person's point
of view.
9) Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
10) Appeal to the nobler motives.
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Part Four
Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or
Arousing Resentment. A leader's job often includes changing
your people's attitudes and behavior. Some suggestions to
accomplish this:
1) Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2) Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
3) Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other
person.
4) Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5) Let the other person save face.
6) Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.
Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."
7) Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8) Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9) Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
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Take a famous Scientologist like Barbarella Schwartz. Then read
her Blog.
http://barbaraschwarz.wordpress.com/
Now, with any one of the Blog entries firmly in mind do a
rundown of the items listed above and see how Barbarella's
Scientology brainwashing has her doing mostly just the
opposite of the items listed above. Then the next time
ANY Scientologist speaks or writes ask yourself if they
don't ALL sound just like Barbarella. They all sound so
low on the tonescale... like they're scraping the bottom
of the barrel.
Let's more closely examine Part Three and see how
Scientology does just the opposite of the right thing
to do:
Win people to your way of thinking
1) The only way to get the best of an argument is to
avoid it.
***Barbarella's entire Blog exists to start rancorous
arguments.
2) Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never
say, "You're wrong."
***With the exception of her imaginary husband, Barbarella
does nothing but belittle others by saying they are wrong and
dumb and criminal, etc.
3) If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
***Barbarella never ONCE admits she's wrong and she's
wrong the majority of the time.
4) Begin in a friendly way.
***If you discount her constant slobbering over some
imaginary husband, each and every Blog entry is a mean,
unfriendly tirade about some perceived enemy or slight.
5) Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
***Barbarella most often gets her miniscule audience of
readers saying "No, no, no! Nobody can be that delusional."
6) Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
***Barbarella has banned everybody from even commenting
on her Blog. She's only interested in listening to herself
rant and rave.
7) Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
***Barbarella never gives anybody else credit for anything.
On the contrary, she tries to take credit for everything
herself. Her ideas are mostly the rantings of a brainwashed
Sea Org cadet high on diesel fumes.
8) Try honestly to see things from the other person's point
of view.
***Barbarella is totally incapable of seeing anything from
somebody else's point of view. The only side Barbarella is
ever on is her own side. She even regularly attacks those
of us who try to be on her side to lend a helping hand.
9) Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
***Barbarella always belittles and defames other peoples'
ideas and desires. She even acts like it's a crime for eligible
men to be interested in courting her and securing her as
a helpmate.
10) Appeal to the nobler motives.
***The only thing Barbarella appeals to is her sense of
superiority. She has some nerve calling herself a goddess
and that waste of space, imaginary husband of hers,
Marty Rathbun, a god. Barbara's motives are not noble
at all, but self-serving, elitist and selfish.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now, don't get me wrong, this is not a personal attack against
Ms. Schwartz whose myriad faults I think I can correct with
a little firm discipline, patient understanding and loving
kindness. Rather, I am just using a familiar Scientologist as an
example of how Scientology completely and utterly fails to win
friends and influence people.
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